I’ve never considered myself much of a fashion aficionado. In fact, I’ve learned since my marriage that I know very little about fashion — I rarely leave the house now without making sure my wife approves of the clothes I’m wearing.

Weirdly, however, I have unearthed more than a little interest in sports fashion, probably inspired by some of the recent uniform choices at both the collegiate and professional levels.

When it started, I’m actually not sure. But at some point, whoever’s in charge of picking out uniforms for teams at the collegiate and professional levels either a) started taking massive doses of psychotropic drugs or b) was fired/died. Because those are the only two logical explanations for some of the things we’re seeing now.

It all started out innocently enough. LSU wanted to go back to wearing white uniforms all the time, because the fan base was operating under the belief that the white jerseys were “magical.” Then Mark Richt came to Georgia and declared they were bringing back the old silver pants — a welcome change both for UGA fans (the Bulldogs got a little freaky with some of their uniform choices in the ‘90s) and for rival fans (because it gave us all a chance to shout the time tested cheer: Red hats and silver britches … and you can pretty much figure out the rest yourself).

Now it seems like uniforms are a week-to-week affair, particularly in the NFL, where it’s apparently OK to trot out any color combination you feel like, depending on the day. Happen to catch the Seattle Seahawks last Sunday? If not, you’re probably better off — that bright green nearly caused local epileptics to flood the emergency room.

Things aren’t much better in baseball. Somehow the San Diego Padres have continually taken the field wearing uniforms that are … camouflage? Something like that.

Even my own Atlanta Braves — who fulfilled their contractual obligation by raising all of our hopes and then crushing them with goofy mistakes this September — have developed the bizarre habit of wearing blood-red uniforms for Sunday home games. In the bright Georgia sun, the uniforms are so harsh, most people I know have to quickly switch to their non-HD channel.

The worst offender in all of sports, of course, are the Oregon Ducks, who produce weekly combinations of uniforms that are so difficult to describe, their beat reporters carry cases of Crayola into the press box.

Officially, and I looked this up, the Ducks’ team colors are green and yellow. However, presumably because the program receives massive contributions from Nike mogul Phil Knight (a proud alum), each week brings a different adventure: green and gold backed in black, all white, off white, higlighter yellow, and so on, and so on.

Incidentally, Oregon went with a “throwback” look for last Saturday’s game against the highly-ranked Cal Bears, wearing the regular old gold helmets with a picture of Donald Duck as the decal. Oregon won the game, 42-6.

And you thought this stuff didn’t matter.