Once again Uncle Sam has flexed his over-developed muscle of intimidation and squeezed the last dollar out of us taxpayers. For a few, we lucky few, he coughed a little back up. For the first time ever, I got a refund from both state and federal. It was direct deposited and with one trip to the store, it was direct withdrawn.
“What did you do with it?” my co-conspirator Hanner asked just this sunny Tuesday morning. I actually had to think a minute.
I could remember filing my taxes a couple months ago. I could remember being a little excited when the bank account took a sudden and mysterious overnight leap and I could remember all the plans I had for it like putting it in savings or buying some summer clothes, taking a dog to the vet, taking a friend to dinner, and possibly taking the other dog to the vet (in reality they do get the majority of my money so why should my tax refund be any different).
However, I cannot for the life of me, remember what in God’s name I did use it for. Mr. Hanner laughed at the blank look on my face.
“Well, at least I filed them” I countered. “And on time. Early even.”
I imagine El Presidente’s “economic stimulus” package will go the same way. I’ll remember it because I’m planning to use it to pay for that root canal I had last month.
Into the bank account it will go and out it will move, leaving nothing behind but friction burns on my debit card. I don’t think that’s exactly what they meant by “economic stimulus”, but hey, what can I say.
Back to taxes, (stop sweating, I didn’t say back taxes) as a single, childless, limited deduction taxpayer, I feel violated by this time each year. Some people can deduct kids (a pretty good number of you do and that’s okay but let’s be fair) and I can’t. So what I propose is a fair and equitable happy medium for all involved. I’m not asking you to give up your child tax deductions, I’m just asking you to give me mine.
I would like to see new tax legislation introduced that provided we childless pet lovers with a break, too. Ponder this: Let those of us without children deduct at least one pet until we have a child to deduct. While you have to provide Social security numbers and whatever else proof of said child, so would we have to produce documentation of the existence of said pet.
Let’s use Shado as a poster child. He eats in a week more than most kids do in two weeks, I take him to the doctor, I clean up after him, and I provide him a safe and wholesome place to live (unfortunately, that’s more than some children receive and that is a sad commentary for another time).
So, if you can deduct your kids, I want to deduct my dog. You could even throw in a few social caveats like the cat or dog you deduct must be spayed or neutered, or you could have to produce certification of rabies vaccination. Two birds with one stone and all that.
Go ahead and laugh at the idea if you want — you change diapers and I pick dog hair off everything I own. I’d just like the tax break for doing it.
